Random thoughts from FatGirl2FitGirl (that’s me of course):
• I think weight loss maintenance is a big old joke. I’ve been on a maintenance plan since, I don’t know, January, even though I have more weight to lose. My body seemed to want to take a break…reaaaally long plateau… so I decided to go with it. I’ve gained 12 pounds. Not exactly maintenance. I know I’m to blame. When you eat more, you gain weight. And when you eat bad stuff, like brownies, you gain weight. I’ve been having trouble finding the balance for maintaining.
I’m either going up or I’m going down. This week, I’m back on the going down side because now I have to lose those 12 pounds, plus I’d like to lose the last 15 that I’m hanging on to. At some point, when I hit my goal, and I will hit my goal, what happens then? Is maintenance really about gaining and losing the same 5 pounds over and over again, and finding the place where you can rein it in before it gets to be any more than that?
• Swimming kicks my butt. When it’s a swim day, I get to the pool bright and early (6:00 am) to get a lane. Lately, I’ve been logging a lot of laps and I’m pushing myself in the interval training, so I can get faster. Unlike other exercises that leave me feeling ramped up, the endorphins wear off quickly after a swim and I’m exhausted the rest of the day. Maybe the water actually saps our energy?
When my daughter was small and in terror mode, I used to let her play in the tub. She liked that and she’d be all nice and calm when she was done. We used to call it washing the crankies away. Maybe there’s something to that?
• My body is not cooperating with my fitness goals these days. My hip is not getting better even though I haven’t run in 8 days. I’m tired of taking time off from running. It’s never fun getting started again.
• Oh and another thing. The whole exercise/weight loss thing? I’ve been thinking back to when I started my journey here and how I felt back then. If I swam 20 laps (today’s swim was 70), if I ran a mile, if I even looked at the bike, the weight fell off. Now my body has adjusted and I have to do more and more to get even the smallest results. How is this fair? When we work hard to get in shape and lose weight, we’re rewarded with having to work harder?
• I finally bought a new scale that works (unfortunately?). It has a Weight Watchers logo on it. I am hoping that little logo will subconsciously make me feel like I’m stepping on the scale at meetings and make me stick to the plan a little better. So far it’s not working, but it’s only been two days. I did start journaling again today, so that’s progress.
• I have to start bike workouts. Race coming up July 11, right around the corner. The hip thing is making me wonder if this is wise. I may wait until after the doctor. I really hope it’s just a pulled muscle or something. It doesn’t hurt that much… unless of course I run. Being hurt is so frustrating. And I signed up for this tri in February because I really want to do this one.
• The humidity broke! Hooray. Being outside these past couple of days has been heavenly. I walked with my daughter last night and we’re going again tonight. Can’t wait, even though I secretly wish it could be a run.
Even though most of my random thoughts are a little whiny today, I can tell you, while it’s never easy, I much prefer to be physically active and healthier than how I felt 2 years ago. I might be tired from my swim, but I feel great that I pushed myself this morning.
I may be annoyed that I have to keep doing more and more exercise to maintain the results, but I enjoy pushing my body to see what it can do because it keeps surprising me. Maybe that’s the reward.
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Hi Diane,
I wish I had some advice or insight on this one but I got nothing. My body seems to be stuck at the same weight range and try as I will it doesn’t want to come off. I pulled out my food journal again too yesterday and started tracking again. We’ll see how that goes.
70 laps in the pool! Are you kidding me? Wow! You are a swimmming machine girl. I don’t know how you do it.
Keep up all your hard work. All that exercise, despite the weight, still makes us healthy and strong.
Heya Diane –
No need to apologize for being whiny; feeling stuck between Old You and New You is nothing less than infuriating.
Maintenance isn’t a joke, but it’s so rarely discussed it can be alienating, particularly when you’re feeling stuck. Lord knows I went through stints of it going from 350 to 155, most of it while working as a food writer (long story).
The surprises are definitely the reward — among the physical discoveries (“My god, I have knees! I can do a dead lift? Who is this person?”) you know yourself as someone who A) would’ve have pushed themselves and B) didn’t go hide somewhere and eat something when it got tough. You stood your ground, despite what EVERYONE said or secretly thought. There’s a lot of power in that.
If you’d like some actions to consider, how about …
A) If you’re that sore from swimming that long after your session, it’s screaming “overtraining” and “I need to get that hip checked out TODAY.”
B) *Laughs* All the folks obsessed with losing weight (and not keeping it off) talk about all the health benefits of losing weight. They don’t mention the need to take even better excellent care of your joints and nervous system. Lord knows they take a beat from everything we do. I don’t recommend it on my site, but personally chiropracty works wonders for me in terms of keeping me in performance shape. Massages feel more like a treat; after protesting it for yours with my pop I finally hit a chiropractor and felt like a new human.
C) Even if only for your sanity, I’d give some entire other cardio method a try. Elliptical work, perhaps, as its not as impactful (and you can watch the hip) or stair machines. If I’m feeling bored or if I’m too high on my maintenance range, switching up my exercise routine, even if only for a week or two, operates like a palate cleanser.
Switching gears, taking a different road to the same place, can give your mind a break form “weight loss hell” in a way that no therapy ever could.
Compassion, Courage, Creativity Chutzpah,
Russ Lane
Second Helping Online: Food & Life, Post Fat Pants
Http://www.secondhelpingonline.com
If I ever swim I prefer to do it at night because I sleep like a baby after it.
I hear you, my body wants a rest too but I don’t agree
I’m not there yet and notice also that it’s more difficult to get it off despite the workouts.
Hang in there, there will come a day your body gives in and does what you want: lose weight.
I agree with the swimming thing- I swim 2-3 mornings a week and notice I am tired by around 2pm. On days that I run in the morning I am go go go go all day long. However, swimming is still one of my favorite workouts- I feel so light and free in the pool!
Diane,
Nice post. Hang in there! I have been in very similar siutations as you. I have found that when that 10 or 12 lbs goes on…you have to find a way to stop it and drop it…if not, it goes on faster and faster. A year ago I was in this situation and decided to get the extra weight off before all control was lost. Tracking my food intake was key. Is lost the 12 lbs but I still have the 15 pounds I would like to lose to be my ideal weight. I was actually heavier than you were when you started your diet and I have lost about 120 or 130 lbs…can’t remember the exact number. You are so inspiring I know you can do this! Take care!
Jeannie